Gecko

 

when love releases you

from its warm embrace

your first impulse is to hug yourself

to keep away the chill

Odd, that need for self preservation

even in the moment

you’re  tottering at the edge

of the world.

The body goes on

even when the soul has

been torn out

the limbs move, the eyes blink, the nails grow

stubborn in their slow routine

and the heart keeps running

its steady and futile race

like the tail

that wriggles

long after the gecko has gone

Stitch your Eyelids Shut 2010  (Akna: Colombo)

Crossings: a memory map

(For my sister, 2007)

In a few weeks

you will

cross several oceans

and two continents

in search of new beginnings

and fulfillment of old needs

my mind hovers around

the days we sailed paper boats

on rivers made by

monsoon rain on a coconut estate

streams afloat

with pol mal and tamarind shells

and halts near the talk

of leaving

the concept of home

and crossing oceans.

With you I have confronted

the intricate twists of

growing up

negotiated the algorithms

of loving and losing

divided grief

into manageable chunks

With you I have constructed a history.

So geography shall remain

only a syllable

as you leave,

a small twig in the river

that flows inexorably

to the sea

Cadaver

They say that holding on to the past

is like tying a corpse

to your back and taking it along

with you

wherever you go,

the stench horrible,

people around you hold their noses

and avoid you like

the proverbial plague.

(A radio DJ spouts such

words of wisdom

between Beyonce’s song

about replacing her lover

and a commercial for detergents)

Driving in rush hour traffic

with a knot of grief

in my throat

I believe he’s speaking

just to me.

So I’m thinking

I should let memory die

let loving you go

imagine the maggots surface

white and thick and sticky

from the depths of  your eyes

I drowned in once

and try to hold in my hands

the crumbling flesh

of your once-loved body

as it falls

bit

by

bit

from

the skeleton of

your devotion

I should untie you

from the back of my heart

dig a hole in the dark deep

night of my past

and bury you,

kisses and all.